From: Rik Hughes (rik@breathemail.net)
Date: Fri Dec 31 1999 - 18:30:09 CET
> THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
>
>
> 'TWAS THE WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS
> AND ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE
> NOT ONE PC WAS WORKING
> NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
>
> I TURNED ON THE POWER
> BUT NOTHING WAS WORKING
> I GRAB THE COMPUTER
> AND START BANGING AND JERKING.
>
> I LAID OUT THREE GRAND
> FOR THIS BIG PIECE OF JUNK
> ON JANUARY 1ST
> THE DAMN THING WENT "KERPLUNK"!
>
> WHEN I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW
> IT MADE SUCH A CLATTER
> MY NEIGHBOR JUST CALLED
> TO SEE WHAT'S THE MATTER.
>
> I TURNED ON THE TV
> THE CABLE IS DOWN
> MY MICROWAVE OVEN
> IS MAKING WEIRD SOUNDS.
>
> MY NEW VCR
> IS AS DEAD AS A ROCK
> NOT ONE LIGHT IS BLINKING
> NOT EVEN THE CLOCK.
>
> IT'S TWENTY BELOW
> THE PEAK OF SNOW SEASON
> THE FURNACE WON'T WORK
> THE PIPES ARE ALL FREEZING
>
> THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED
> AT A WORSE TIME
> I THINK I HAVE FROSTBITE
> ON MY BEHIND.
>
> I LAUGHED FOR A SECOND
> AND THOUGHT IT ALL FUNNY
> THEN A CALL FROM MY BANK
> IN REGARDS TO MY MONEY.
>
> "WE MANAGED YOUR PENSION
> AND SAVINGS WITH CARE
> BUT FOR SOME ODD REASON
> YOUR MONEY'S NOT THERE
>
> WE WERE Y2K READY
> WE'D THOUGHT WE'D BE HEROES
> BUT REGRET TO INFORM YOU
> YOUR BALANCE IS..ZERO"!
>
> I DROP THE RECEIVER
> TO THE BATHROOM I RUSH
> I PUSH DOWN THE HANDLE
> THE TOILET WON'T FLUSH.
>
> I TURNED ON THE FAUCET
> NOT ONE DROP HITS THE SINK
> I HEAD OUT THE DOOR
> TO THE PUB FOR A DRINK.
>
> I JUMP IN THE CAR
> TURN THE KEY IN THE SWITCH
> IT ONLY GOES "CLICK"
> I SCREAM,"SON OF A BITCH!"
>
> A COMPUTERIZED IGNITION
> HAS JUST SEALED MY FATE
> NOT SET UP
> FOR THE "2000" DATE.
>
> I TWITCH LIKE A MADMAN
> THIS CANNOT BE TRUE
> NO CAR, HEAT, OR MONEY
> WHAT THE HELL CAN I DO.
>
> SHOUTING OBSCENITIES
> AS I RAN OUT OF SIGHT
> HAPPY Y2K TO ALL
> IT'S BEEN ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!
>
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